SNOWSTORM WATCH!!!!!

Hey Everbody!

This is Brian reporting to you from the middle of the storm that I will from here on refer to as "The Storm that punched QU Finals in the Jugular!"

Today, Hamden CT got over 5 inches of snow from "The Storm that punched QU Finals in the Jugular!", which sent locals into a panic. This panic grew so large, and lasted so long that it had to cause a poison control center because it shouldn't have lasted more than 4 hours(just kidding). The administrators got so nervous that they...

CANCELLED FINALS!!!!!!!

In reality, they postponed finals until tomorrow afternoon, but it was really interesting to see the emails fly, and the sidewalk sweepers come out with their big friends I like to call Plows.


Today was a day where irrational things should have happened because of "The Storm that punched QU Finals in the Jugular!", and they did. I will list the irrational things I did as well as saw today, and hopefully you can add some of your own to the comments section (hint hint):

1. I braved the storm to go to Taco Bell ( it was so worth it, i got the best Cheesy Gordita Crunch ever!)

2. Played Nintendo 64 for a few hours when I should have been studying for tomorrow or writing my grad essays

3. Saw large groups of freshman walking around with the cafeteria trays they stole looking for the sweetest hill to "sled" on.

4. Got addicted to the facebook application Scrabulous when I should have been doing other things, See number 2.

5. Watched this video instead of doing work:

6. I named the storm "The Storm that punched QU Finals in the Jugular!"

7. Insert yours in the comments section.

YAY FOR DRAMA!!!!

Hey readers:
Quinnipiac is in the New York Times!!!!! Not necessarily for the best reasons, but our University is being mentioned in the Region section. The article makes it sound like our administration is very tyranical, but either way, it is very interesting, check it out.

Riddle me this...

Dear World,

After a long day, I would like to ask you a few things. Maybe somebody has an answer to these things that riddle me so:

1. Why are college kids so lazy that they must litter their half full beer can outside the door to a closet full of trash cans???

2. Why does cake taste so good?

3. Is it fashionably allright to wear black and navy blue together now? Brown and Black?

4. Is it possible to not be happy while or after watching this:





The quote of the night goes to a gentleman and a scholar who I was not able to actually see as I walked down a hall in my building, but his charming voice cried out this amazing phrase. It's classic, it's memorable, and it was just the thing to become the first quote of the night.

"There were ashtray's all up his f#ckin @ss and sh!t. "


Don't ask me what it means, it is real deep though. And ashen.

it's 1:52 am, and I'm still in the library.

When Scruff McGruff has gone to bed, you can definitely learn a valuable life lesson:

"Don't procrastinate on your Kinesiology Lab Final Presentation until the night before. Do it early so that it doesn't conflict with dance performances and benefit concerts that you have to go to."

~Sleepy Brian

The American Dream

To the invisible readers,

Through a messenger system (my friend Kaitlyn and AIM), I was lucky enough to learn the answers to a special type of question that I would like to ask a special type of person.


I always wanted to ask someone from another country why they would want to come to America?


The immediate response from unnamed Canadian undergraduate male on the other side of Kaitlyn's computer was "I came here for the American Dream!"

That really got us thinking about what the American Dream is. I understand that there are a lot of restrictions in other countries in comparison to our personal "freedoms" that we as citizens are granted here. I however don't really believe that the pursuit of said freedoms is the reason that people migrate around the world to our section of North America. There is one thing that I was hoping to get out of this fellow. It is something that we in this country can't live without. It drives about 60 percent of our actions. It fuels us when we have it, it ruins us when we don't.

THE Dolla Dolla Bill$ yo.

I then asked the gentleman, what he came to the country for other than the ability to make money here. There was a pretty long pause, and then he stated that he came here because he could build his future faster here. This was a really cool idea, because even though this has a little bit to do with moeny, I never really realized all of the resources that are available here in our country.

After this 2 question interview, I found myself tragically torn between feelings of patriotism and feelings that can only be described as unpatriotic. I was confused about our freedoms that seem to dwindle by the day despite what our Constitution grants us, the capitalistic view that plagues us all, and excitement over people coming here.


The moral of the story is, if you ever feel like you don't like the USA, talk to somebody who isn't a citizen of this country. They love it here.

With Liberty and Justice for All,

Brian

A little frustrated...

Dear readers,
I am going to start something that is blatantly stolen from an awesome cartoon. A section of entries where I just vent. Hopefully some people will be able to sympathize, empathize, or just understand what is going on. So without further ado, here is the first entry of:

What Really Grinds My Gears
Bad Sellers on eBay

What really grinds my gears about this whole situation I have found myself in is that it's been two weeks since I purchased a sweet pair of camouflage Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers from this person/company, and I have not heard anything from them about them. No shipping notification, no response to the message I sent them a week ago, and so far no response to the message I sent them 15 minutes ago.
I bought a pair of jeans on eBay 10 minutes before I won these shoes, and I have them in my possession. Now where are my shoes???!!!!


And Breathe....


Okay, that was a nice little release of tension. Thanks for reading. If you have any eBay stories to share, feel free to comment.

Your friendly neighborhood blogger,
Brian

Well I was doing some cleaning and look what I found...

Oh! Hi there!

So it seemed like i had fallen off the face of the earth due to my lack of writing for 6 months, but I assure you I have not. Life has been absolutely crazy. Speaking of crazy, I have a topic that I would like you to think about:

We are TOLD many things when we are younger and we are just expected to believe them and live accordingly. For example, that what is hot is actually HOT and not COLD. If that which we now call HOT is actually COLD, that would blow our minds. It would change the names of certain appliances we use, the types of clothes we wear, and more.

I was just thinking of this because it has finally become (HOT/COLD) in New England in preparation for the winter. Thanksgiving had beautiful weather (I walked on the beach with my girlfriend and my family and wasn't blown away by the (icy/blazing) winds.

Good Luck to all with your holiday shopping, final weeks of the semester, and more.

The lost author,
Brian

Something was missing...

Dear W.o.W. readers,

I regret to inform you that I have been missing something my whole life. It is something that is crucial to manhood. It is something that some people think that I am crazy for not having. It is something that unites all citizens of the United States of America, as well as some other coutnries including Japan and China. This thing that I have been missing my whole life is:

A love of Baseball.

Specifically:

Red Sox Baseball

I got a text message this afternoon asking me if I wanted to go to a Red Sox game. I obviously accepted, only after clarifying that I am poor and did not have enough money to buy the ticket from her. Either way, my friend Lindsey and I went to an amazing game at Fenway. There was something different about today though. Something about riding into Boston on a T from Newton that was completely full of Red Sox Fans heading to the game. That little community got my in the mood for the game. The thousands of people cheering in the stadium got my blood circulating faster than normal, and just as I thought I was overwhelmed by it all, I cracked. I went Cuckoo for Dice-K. Matsuzaka-san, as the Japanese headbands that reminded me of the Karate Kid had written on them, pitched an amazing 9 INNINGS and handed the Tigers a magical 7-1 defeat. Lowell, Varitek, Crisp, Ortiz, Ramirez, Lugo, and the others played marvelously.

I didn't know what to do with myself. I now have the troubling decision to make. I now have to decide what player's last name I would like to wear on my first ever team T-shirt. I am currently torn between Mr. Lowell, Captain Varitek, or the new addition to the team Mr. Matsuzaka(his comes in Japanese writing too).

I think I can now understand why in some people's lives, time stops when basbeall is on. I really hope I can schedule in time to watch more games or to even attend more games. It was awesome.

I am officially a baseball fan, and more importantly a Red Sox fan. Woot Woot.

Viva la Revolution!

Dear W.o.W. readers,

The academic school year is almost over. There are a bunch of emotions running through my mind: relief, sorrow, boredom, excitement, anxiety, etc.

I figured I'd fill you in on a little debauchle that is happening here at Quinnipiac University. This past April 27th-28th, the school hosted its annual celebration known as May Weekend. This weekend is supposed to be a weekend of celebration where people rcognize all of the hard work they have done over the course of the year, and have a relaxing weekend prior to finals. However, May Weekend quickly evolved over the course of the history of the school into a supposed free for all where rampant underage drinking occurs. This year, after many more arrests and serious incidents (deaths, alleged sexual assault), the administration has decided to pull funding for May Weekend.

This has students outraged. They are speaking out in a Facebook group known as "Prohibition didn't work, so why will taking away May Weekend?" or something to the sort. They are speaking out about the fact that they don't want their weekend of drinking taken away, not that they will no longer have an organized celebration going on with thousands of dollars worth of entertainment. The administration has said that the money will instead be used for programs throughout the year.

I have had to hold my tongue and not reply to the posts in the facebook group because I feel that I would either:

1. rip apart the thousand plus members of the facebook group with my verbal katana and get the real point across
   
2. or have absolutely no effect on the extremely stupid and ignorant student body that is found on the same grounds as myself.

These students have a ridiculous amount of information in front of their eyes that explains everything. It says where the money is going. It says the true reasoning for not having it. Everything is warranted and explained. Even within the facebook group, there are students going against the masses and posting things that support the decision.
I just find it hilarious that even with all of this, hundreds of students think that their "privilege"(which is exaclty what it is, rather than a right) to may weekend being ripped away is a travesty because they are being told they can't drink, or that they are "paying for it, so they should be able to have it", or that it was a choice "set of individuals who did bad things" (despite the fact that there were over 1000 students involved in blatant outdoor underage drinking.

I can say oh so much more on this issue. I'm sure you can find plenty of other info on the internet about it.

Until then, I want to start a QU debate team and be the captain, because I argue oh so well.


ps. this is one of the main pictures on the facebook group, tell me this helps the outraged students in their quest to get back their celebration:

Like most college students are.

Hello there W.o.W. subscribers, readers, fans, foes, or whoever you are,

I have not been able to write lately due to a few things:
1. I was busy, like most college students are.
2. I was tired, like most college students are.
3. I was a little under the weather, like most college students are.
4. I was a little depressed, like most college students are (or now are). :(
5. Finally, I had to remember to schedule in meals between: classes fraternity events during Greek Week, getting tattoos, hanging out with the lady friend, rock climbing, music searches, radio shows, dance practices, teeth brushing, sleeping, being on duty as an RA, WALKING THROUGH HEPATITIS CREEK to catch my 300 Rubber Ducks for my charity race which somehow evaded my net/trapping mechanism, playing catch, and more. (probably not like most college kids)


Also, I'm sad to inform you,
But my posts on collegehumor have not gotten enough likes to be put on the main page, so I will continue to write as the time goes on, however my dream of becoming a collegehumor writer a week ago was a little bit hasty and lofty. It's ok to dream. I am like Arethra, and a little semi-famous job that pays you for being something you can't help- being hilarious- cannot stop me from surviving.

I will not forget about you for so long again...I hope.
Let me know you are reading, because I would love to know. Give me a topic, any topic, and I will write about it and try and make it funny.

With much love and respect for those experiencing the aftermath of the Virgina Tech tragedy,
BMS

Battles that you have always wanted to see...

Dear W.o.W. readers,
Over the years, I have contemplated the outcomes of some very serious battles. These people/animals/characters/friends have worked their way into our hearts with their ferocity and goodness. Today, I will explore what would happen if they were to fight.

Today's Battle:

Count Chocula vs. Tony the Tiger

This specific battle has plagued me for years, (and seems to have been referenced by http://www.derok.net/derok/countchocula.html), but this is why:

(pic provided by Aaron Edwards)

Name: Count Chocula
Address: 1 Creepy Court (the giant castle on the cliff thing)
Interests: Chocolate, being a vampire, being straight gangsta, being the leader of a gang (the Monsters), throwing huge parties, gardening
Powers: Flight (after he turns into a bat), Echo-radar, Super sharp fang, Ability to summon friends at will(Booberry, Frankenberry, and FruitBrute-discontinued after the battle with Snap-Crackle-and Pop, Power-ups from the moon, crazy maze house, sweet cape, and cackle
Weaknesses: The Sun, Garlic, Silver bullets, Wooden Stakes



(pic provided by mutantlog)
Name: Tony the Tiger
Address: Unknown, he is always in a new place, they call him "the Wanderer"
Interests: Frosted Flakes, playing with kids, extreme sports, drinking alone, bathing himself
Powers: Agility, Camoflauge(when in the orange colored plains), Super Strength(when SuperCharged), and sharp teeth and claws...like tigers usually do
Weaknesses: Catnip, Steaks, inability to speak without stuttering(They're Grrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!), water, milk, fleas




The Battle:
There are some very serious things to consider in this battle. The first and foremost is the TIME OF DAY in which the battle takes place. There are some obvious advantages to either. Day is Tony's strength; Night is Count's strength. Either solar event can make or break the fight. The next thing to think about is what food is available on the side. If there is a nice, not quite soggy, still crunchy bowl of Frosted Flakes on the side, Tony might have to have some alone time before the fight. If there is a nice bag, of freshly donated O negative blood, then the Count might have to stop and play some drinking games with his friends.


So, imagine a place, not night or day, both competitors fueled with their choice of food and drink, half plains/half creepy castle. The competitors, super-charged and monster-ized face off. Tony would make the first blow with his agility. The Count would fly up, and distract the cat with an echoing cackle. Both would lose each other in the arena(the bat form Count would lurk in the dark corners of the room, the Tiger in the plain). Punches, scratches, bites, claws, gang-beatings, fury enraged combinations, and more.

In the end, the winner will just have to be: Count Chocula

He just has to win. He's a monster, he has more powers, he can transform, he's the spokesperson for a better cereal and company, and HE'S A VAMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This concludes the first battle you've always wanted to see. If you disagree with the outcome, comment why. If you have suggestion for the next battle, comment. In other words, let me know what you are thinking so I can make this blog better!

Help make me famous!

Dear W.o.W.ers,

Your truly has begun writing a whole lot (as is shown by my recent dedication to my blog). I have since starting a relationship, cheated on you. I know, we didn't even get to go out to dinner together before it happened, but it is ok. I plan on being faithful to BOTH of you. (Imagine if that statement could really ease your partner)!
My other wife/partner/writing place is Collegehumor.com. I wrote my first article yesterday(now 2 days ago). I need your help though. I need you to click here, then click on the little link that says "Articles", read my article, and the click the little link that says "Like It?" By doing so, you will be alerting the people who run Collegehumor that my article is worthy of their review. If they like it, they will post it on the frontpage. This will begin the step towards me writing more often, maybe even professionally. WHOAH! I think it would be fun if more people could read my stuff. This may require you to sign up for an account(if you don't already have one). Please do, it's free, and you can then comment on stuff, like stuff, and even write your own(like mine first so I can get famous and say that I helped you get your start!)

Yours truly,
BS

Ps. My article is about Saving a Bad Story. This is something that many people need to learn about. Yup....

If the roles of life were reversed...

Hello there! I know what you were thinking...I know that I didn't post over the last 24 hours. I just want to let you know that it will happen again. By telling you, I now expect you to suck it up and deal. :)

I have often wondered what it would be like if males of each species took on the feminine responsibilities, and the females would take on the masculine ones. It would be a crazy world that would sound a little like this:

-Male lions would do the hunting, and the women would stay home with the kids (weird)
-Quinnipiac University would be 61 % male and 39% female
-Barbie would be renamed Barbo, and Ken would be Kenna(both still eunich-like)
-Women would open doors for men (That would be so smooth! I'm not saying I don't like being chivalrous, but I would love getting the princes-cough cough... prince treatment)

-Finally the switch you have been waiting to read about: Pregnancy
I have always joked around about how cool it would be if men could become pregnant. It would totally redefine a relationship if either person could get pregnant. "Oh, I'll carry this one for you honey!" I could say. Either way, we would just be following in the footsteps of seahorses. Male Seahorses give birth to the children after fertilizing the eggs(eww). They give new meaning to the movie "Mr. Mom" with the Governator.

I only have a few problems with human men giving birth:

1. If morning sickness is anything like what I woke up to this morning after a long night of homework and lack of sleeping, then I say "No thanks" to that.
2. I don't want to get fat. I would get back all the baby fat I worked so hard to work off. I had the biggest cheeks in the world(I have the trophy at home), and I haven't had my cheeks squeezed in a good 8 months, 3 days, 16 hours, 5 minutes, and 37 seconds. I'd like to keep it that way. (Traumatized)
   
3. Paternity clothes would be sooooooooo lame. They would be mainly provided by Carhart, Levi's, Unionbay, Polo, IZOD, and Hanes. I can't find a nice shirt to fit well enough now, I can't even imagine what it would be like when my stomach blimps out to be the size of a watermelon.
4. Breastfeeding= No-No. I like my boobs being muscular...
5. Finally: Where does the baby come out? I will leave that up to your disgusting imagination to decide.

What role would you like to be reversed in today's world?

Where did they go?

Hello W.o.W. readers,

Today, being a little colder than the past couple days, has forced me inside. While the weather is having it's identity crisis (Am I Spring? Am I winter? Am I Sprinter/Wing[combo]?), I have been cast into my room to relax and think. I became very reminiscent today of things that I enjoyed in my childhood, and came up with a topic that I plan to revisit often. It will be called:

Where did they go?
People/kids who would rather play outside than sit inside.

I, being one of these people who love playing outside but have been forced inside, know both sides of the story, and therefore can logically make an argument.
I feel that the kids who would be playing outside have been abducted by aliens , and by abducted by aliens I mean kidnapped by television, computers and the internet, and by lazy and nervous parents.
Spending time outside back in New Hampshire was the bomb diggity when I was a kid(and it continues to be as awesome now). One could get a nice tan(summer or winter) and get a lot of fresh air. One could learn the laws of physics on the swingset or seesaw. One could learn the architecture of a sand castle or of a tree/stick fort. One could learn the mathematics of You+ a rabid animal=Bad news with a remainder of RUN AWAY! One could learn the science of using a magnifying glass to melt things or mess with ants. There is so much to learn in the outdoors. Other than learning, being outside directly correlates with exercising more. That means you more than likely will lose weight.

As television becomes more popular(and more violent) despite the lack of decent shows like we had (whole 'nother topic), children and adults become glued to the tube as if it were their prized possession. As the internet steals the souls of those who committ to sitting in front of it (all college students, children who are looking at interactive learning sites, and more, we as people lose connection to our natural habitat. It is a proven fact that we ,humans/homosapiens, are the only species of creature on the planet that is no longer able to survive in our natural habitat. Also, as if it's not obvious, the amount of time we are spending in front of computers and t.v.'s is also directly adding to the obesity in our country. They need to invent computers that you can take with you while you exercise, on some sort of head set (LIKE VIRTUAL REALITY) on a treadmill. I say headset because when I tried to read my 20G Ipod (it died-gah Apple!) it was hard to focus. This would work. People could exercise and surf the net.

I'm not saying that spending time in front of these electronic devices is bad. In this case, there is definitely a limit on how much of something is good. I say, we should all learn to speed read. That way, you can still read my blog and exercise!!!

Finally, I think in a world of increasing fear, parents are either too lazy to go outside so they can watch their kids, or too scared that something is going to happen to let them out. If people don't let their children, or even themselves, take risks, then everyone will just be scaredy-cats and we'll get fat. I think that it is crucial to allow and even force children outside. Teach them self defense and how to make smart decisions around strangers, give them a cell phone to call you, buy them crappy clothes and let them get dirty in them and expose themselves to the germs early so they can get the immunity for them, and more.

My challenge to my readers is to go outside today, bundle up, and at least go for a walk. Get your blood pumping. Exercise is a stress reliever, and an energy giver.

Thanks for reading this semi-serious, hopefully thought provoking post. I will be funnier when the weather gets sunnier. For now, I will leave you with my favorite quote of all time. It is a quote from the Alkaline Trio song "Radio". If you look up the song, it's a really bitter song about a guy who has been recently dumped and is very angry about it. The lyrics for the most part are really harsh, except for this part, which ties directly in with what I spoke about earlier: risks.

"...if Columbus was wrong, I'd drive straight off the edge."

The Beginning of a Serious Relationship

Dear whomever stumbles across this page,

You are in for quite the treat, for you will get to be the suscribers to the insanity that is my thought process. I have recently been inspired by the likes of Greg Madrid, Koren Zailckas, Streeter Seidell and the other Collegehumor authors, and many more to start putting my thoughts down on paper (or in this case a computer). I get this crazy feeling that we are going to be BFFL-OIWFYASOYHABYTKRAPOMB's (Best Friends for Life- Or I will find you and stand outside your house and beg you to keep reading and posting on my blog). Haha...... No Seriously though....

My goal is to write about the serious, funny, bizarre, and definitely random thoughts that go through my head, and I am more than interested in taking suggestions on topics. I love learning, so I will do research, and argue the heck out of any topic you pose.

So without further ado, the First W.O.W. topic is:

People who sing the words to songs but don't understand what they mean.

[CAUTION: MATURITY ALERT]
By reading any further you agree not to be pissed when I the filter on my mouth/fingers does not stop me from referencing things that would cause any teenager to giggle ferociously and make any overly-PC adult want to yell at me.

I remember back in like sixth grade, I was sitting in the back seat of my mom's car( because I wasn't tall enough as a sixth grader to sit in the front seat, it's hazardous!) singing along to a song. This song was UB40's Girl I Want To Make You Sweat. Back then, my pre-pubescent voice sung the words as if it was another bubble gum pop song that you would hear on RadioDisney. I'm surprised my mother didn't catch on to the lyrics. They go a little something like this:

"Girl I want to make you sweat,
sweat till you can't sweat no more,
And if you cry-y, I'm gonna push it
Push it, Push it some more-ore."

If I sang this song today aloud with as much enthusiasm as I did then, there is a great chance I would be slapped in the face with accusations of sexual assault and a large amount of evil-eye giving would ensue... for about a week.

I say this because many people do it. In fact, yesterday, I came across a friend of my lady-friend who did not really understand the lyrics to the Cutting Crew's (I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight. She was singing it out loud at a large social gathering for the Rugby Team. I found this especially amusing because the song references premature ejaculation in its chorus, and before it was sung in the presence of many testosterone junkies, it was preceded with an excited,"Oh my God, I Love this song!!!!!!!!!!!"

Other songs that people(including yours truly) have sung without understanding:

Next's Too Close (male anatomy arousal)
Ricky Martin/William Hung's She Bangs (aggressive women)
The Vapors Turning Japanese (the face one makes when pleasuring oneself)

Got any more songs that fit this category?